Me pehea atu ki tetahi e pouri ana, e ai ki nga Tohunga Hauora Hinengaro

Toka Te Manawa

• Te take he kino rawa te tirotiro i roto
• Ehara i te Mea Anei Tau Korero, Engari Pehea Korerohia e Koe
• Me pehea atu ki te tangata e pouri ana
• Whakaatu manaaki me te āwangawanga.
• Tono atu ki te korero, ki te noho tahi ranei.
• Me noho hei kaiwhaiwhai #1 (engari kaua e nui rawa).
• Me paatai ​​noa kei te pehea ratou.
• ... ana mena kei te awangawanga koe mo to raatau ahuru, korero atu.
• He aha te kore e kii atu ki tetahi e pouri ana
• Kaua e peke ki te hīraurau hopanga.
• Kaua e whakapae.
• A ape i te pai o te paitini.
• Kaua rawa e Ki "Kare koe e Pai."
• I te mutunga, Kia Maumahara ki To Whāinga
• Arotake mo

Ahakoa i mua o te raru o te mate coronavirus, ko te pouri te tangata e tino mate ana i te ao. Ana inaianei, nga marama kua pa mai te mate uruta, kei te piki haere. I rangahauhia e etahi rangahau tata nei ko "nga tohu pouri o te pouri" i te U.S. neke atu i te toru nga wa teitei ake i te wa i mua i te mate uruta. I etahi atu kupu, ko te maha o nga pakeke o Amerika e pa ana ki te pouri kua neke atu i te toru, no reira, tera pea ka mohio koe iti rawa kotahi tangata e noho pouri ana - mena kei te mohio koe kaore ranei.

Ko te pouri - e kiia ana ko te pouri haumanu - he koretake o te wairua e raru ai nga tohu e pa ana ki to ahua, whakaaro, me te whakahaere i nga mahi o ia ra penei i te moe me te kai, e ai ki nga National Institutes of Mental Health (NIMH). He rereke tenei i te ahua ngoikore, i te heke ranei mo tetahi wa poto, e kiia ana e te iwi he "ngakau pouri", he tangata "ngakau pouri" ranei. Mo tenei tuhinga, kei te korero me te whakamahi i aua kianga hei korero mo nga tangata e pouri ana.

Heoi, na te mea kua tino kaha haere te pouri, kaore i te kii he maama ake te korero (he mihi ki te whakaparahako, nga taake ahurea, me te kore matauranga). Kia tika ra: Ko te mohio ki nga mea hei ki atu ki te tangata e porearea ana - mena he mema o te whanau, he hoa, he tino tangata nui - he mea uaua. Na, me pehea e taea ai e koe te tautoko i o hunga e arohaina ana e matea ana? A he aha nga korero tika me te he ki te korero ki te tangata he pouri? Ka whakautua e nga tohunga hauora hinengaro era patai, me te tohatoha tika i nga korero ki te tangata e pouri ana, e pangia ana e te pouri haumanu, me te maha atu. (E Pa ana: Ko te Tohu Ki Te Hauora Hinengaro e akiaki ana i te iwi kia mamae i te noho puku)

Te take he kino rawa te tirotiro i roto

Ahakoa ko nga marama kua pahure ake nei he tino mokemoke (na te nuinga o te waa ki te haere ki te hapori me etahi atu mahi whakatupato COVID-19), he nui ke atu mo te hunga pouri. Na te mea ko te mokemoke te "tetahi o nga wheako tino nui o te hunga e pouri ana," e ai ki a Forest Talley, Ph.D., he tohunga hinengaro haumanu me te kaiwhakaara i nga Ratonga Hinengaro Invictus i Folsom, CA. "Ka tino kitea tenei ma te noho wehe me te noho tuukore. Ko te nuinga o te hunga e pouri ana ka kite ratou he mamae, he maarama hoki tenei; ko to ratau whakaaro ki a raatau ano kua tino whaaia ka kii tonu ratou, 'Kaore tetahi e hiahia kia tata mai ki ahau, a kaore au e whakahe i a raatau, he aha i manukanuka ai ratou? '"

Engari "'ratou'" (panui: koe) me whakaatu ki enei tangata e pouri ana kei te manaaki koe. Ma te whakamohio noa ki te hoa aroha kei kona koe mo raatau, ka mahi koe i nga mea katoa kia pai ai to awhina, "me te tumanako e hiahia nui ana ratau," ko te whakamaarama a Charles Herrick, MD, tiamana o te poari. Tuhinga o mua i Danbury, New Milford, me nga Hauora Norwalk i Connecticut.

I kii tera, kaore pea ratou e whakautu wawe mai me nga ringa tuwhera me te kara e panui ana, "gee, whakawhetai mo te whakawhirinaki mai ki ahau." Engari, ka tupono pea koe ki te aukati (he tikanga whakamarumaru). Ma te tirotiro noa ki a raatau, ka taea e koe te whakarereke i tetahi o a raatau whakaaro pohehe (ara kaore tetahi e aro atu ana ki a raatau, kaore ranei e pai ki te aroha me te awhina) na, ka awhina pea i a raatau ki te whakaputa korero mo o raatau mana'o.

"Ko te mea kaore te tangata pouri i mohio ko tana peera kua peia atu e raatau nga tangata ka taea te awhina," e kii ana a Talley. "Ki te tirotiro tetahi hoa, mema ranei o te whanau ki te tangata pouri, ka mahi hei rongoa mo enei whakaaro whanoke mo te wareware me te kore utu. . "

"Me pehea te urupare, te urupare ranei a te tangata ra, me te waahi kei hea ia i roto i o raatau koiora - ko te tautoko i a ratau me te manawanui he mea tino nui i roto i enei mahi," ta Nina Westbrook, L.M.F.T.

Ano hoki, ma te tirotirohia me te whakatuwhera korero, kei te awhina koe ki te whakakore i te hauora hinengaro. "Ko te nuinga o ta tatou korero mo te pouri me te korero ano mo etahi atu awangawanga i roto i te ao o nga taangata e aro nui ana ki a tatou. (arā, te whanau, te mahi, te kura), ka iti ake te whakahaehae me te iti o te hunga ka pa ki te whakama, ki te hara ranei mo te take i raru ai ratou," e kii ana te kaimätai hinengaro haumanu a Kevin Gilliland, Psy.D, kaiwhakahaere matua o Innovation360 i Dallas , TX.

"Kaua e tino awangawanga mo te paatai ​​i nga patai tika katoa me te whai ki nga kupu tika mo te awhina i a raatau," e kii ana a Gilliland. "Ko ta te iwi e tino hiahia ana kia mohio kaore ratau i te mokemoke me tetahi e whakaaro nui ana."

Ae, he maamaa noa. Engari, aue, he tangata koe ka pahekeheke te pa. Akene i tiimata koe ki te tangi paku rite ki te matua whaikorero. Akene kua tiimata ranei koe ki te toha i nga tohutohu kaore i te awhinahia, kaore hoki i awhinahia (arā, "kua tamatahia e koe te whakaaroaro i enei ra?"). I tera keehi, "kati noa te korero, whakaae, ka whakaparahako," e kii ana a Gilliland, nana nei i kii kia katakata mo te ahuatanga katoa (mehemea ka tika). "Kaore koe e tino tika; me manaaki koe me te hiahia kia noho mai koe he uaua noa iho. Engari he rongoa tino kaha."

Ehara i te Mea Anei Tau Korero, Engari Pehea Korerohia e Koe

I etahi wa ko te tuku nga mea katoa. "E mohio ana te taangata ki te waa he pono nga mea katoa; ka rongo tatou," e kii ana a Westbrook. Ka whakanui ia i haere mai ia i tetahi wahi ngakau-tuwhera, ngakau-puare, ma tenei e ahei te whakarite ahakoa ka pohehe koe i nga kupu, ka mohio te tangata tata ki a koe e arohatia ana, e manaakitia ana ia.

Me ngana kia kite takitahi atu (ahakoa e ono putu te wehenga). "Ko te waahanga whakamataku mo COVID-19 ko te mea e tika ana ki te whakahaere i tetahi huaketo [whakawhitinga hapori] he tino whakamataku mo te tangata," e kii ana a Gilliland. "Ko te mea pai rawa atu mo te tangata me o taatau wairua ko te whakawhanaunga ki etahi atu taangata, a he mahi kanohi ta te kanohi, he korerorero hoki hei awhina i a maatau ki te whakaaro rereke i te ao - ara ki te wareware noa ki nga taumahatanga o te ao. "

Mena kaore e taea te kite kanohi i a ratau, ka taunaki a ia kia waea ataata mai i runga i te waea waea, te tuhi waea ranei. "He pai ake te topa i te tuku waea me te imeera; Ki taku whakaaro i etahi wa he pai ake i te waea waea noa," e kii ana a Gilliland. (E pa ana: Me pehea te mahi mokemoke mena kei te noho mokemoke koe i te wa o te mate coronavirus)

E kiia ana, ko nga mahi me nga mea kaore e taea te kii atu ki te tangata e pouri ana he rite tonu ahakoa IRL ranei ma te ipurangi ranei.

Me pehea atu ki te tangata e pouri ana

Whakaatu manaaki me te āwangawanga.

Whakamātauria ki te kii: "I pirangi au ki te toro atu na te mea kei te awangawanga ahau. Kei te ahua pouri koe [he 'pouri ranei,' 'poapoa,' etc.]. He mea ano ka taea e au hei awhina?'" Ko te D nui ko "ehara ko koe" - ehara i te mea nui whakaharahara, e kii ana a Talley. Ko te mea nui kei te tango koe i tetahi huarahi tika (taapiri mo tenei i muri mai) me te whakaatu i te awangawanga me te manaaki, e ai ki a ia.

Tono atu ki te korero, ki te noho tahi ranei.

Ahakoa karekau he whakautu mo 'me aha te korero ki te tangata e pouri ana', he mea nui kia mohio ratou kei reira koe mo ratou, ahakoa ki te korero, ki te noho noho noa ranei.

Ka taea hoki e koe te ngana ki te pei atu i a raatau ki waho o te whare - mena ka taea tonu nga kawa whakahoahoa-a-mate (arā ko te wehewehe i te hapori, te whakakakahu kanohi) ka taea tonu. Whakaarohia te haereere tahi me te kapo ranei i tetahi kapu kawhe. "Ko te ngakau pouri te tahae i te hiahia o te iwi ki te mahi i nga mahi i kitea e ratou i mua, no reira ko te whakahoki i to hoa pouri ki te whakauru ano he tino awhina," hei ki ta Talley. (E Pa ana: Na te aha i awhinatia ai ahau e te Manukanuka o te Ao Katoa mo te Pakaru o te Coronavirus)

Me noho hei kaiwhaiwhai #1 (engari kaua e nui rawa).

Koinei to taima ki te whakaatu ki a raatau he aha i tino nui ai te aroha me te arohahia - me te kore e haere ki te moana. "He maha tonu te akiaki ki te korero marama ki to hoa, ki to hoa aroha ranei, he tino nui koe ki a raatau, ahakoa he uaua ki te kite i tua atu o te arai pouri na te pouri, ka kite koe i te waahi ka peke atu kia watea koe i o raatau ruarua, pouri, pouri ranei, "e kii ana a Talley.

Kaore e kitea nga kupu tika hei korero? Kia maumahara "i etahi wa ka nui ake te kaha o nga mahi i nga kupu," e kii ana a Caroline Leaf, Ph.D. Whakatakahia te tina, awhi me etahi putiputi, tukuna he ngata ngata, me "whakaatu noa ki a raatau kei te taha koe mena ka hiahia koe ki a koe," e kii ana a Leaf.

Me paatai ​​noa kei te pehea ratou.

Ae, he "whakawehi" pea te whakautu, engari ka akiaki nga tohunga ki te tono korero ma te patai noa (me te pono) e pehea ana to hoa aroha. Tukuna kia whakatuwhera kia whakarongo mai ratau. Kupu matua: whakarongo. "Whakaarohia i mua i to whakautu," e kii ana a Leaf. "Me tango kia 30-90 hēkona ki te whakarongo ki a raatau korero na te mea koinei te roa o te roro ki te tukatuka korero. Ma tenei ka kore koe e aro noa."

"Ki te ruarua noa koe whakarongo - kaua e korero, kaua hoki e tohutohu," e kii ana a Takuta Herrick. Ae ra, kaore koe e hiahia ki te noho puku. Ahakoa ko koe te pakihiwi ma te hoa rawakore he huarahi pai ki te ngakau mahaki, ngana ki te korero i nga korero penei "Kei te rongo ahau i a koe." Mena kua pa ki a koe tetahi wero hauora hinengaro i mua, ka taea hoki e koe te whakamahi i tenei wa ki te aroha me te aroha. Whakaarohia: "Kei te mohio ahau ki te nui o tenei ngote; I konei hoki au."

... ana mena kei te awangawanga koe mo to raatau ahuru, korero atu.

I etahi wa - ina koa mo te ahuru - me tika koe. "Mena kei te awangawanga koe mo to hoa pouri, mo te haumarutanga ranei o te tangata e arohaina ana, patai noa," e akiaki ana a Talley. "Ka aata patai mena i whakaaro ratau, kei te whakaaro ranei ratau ki te whara i a raatau, ki te patu ranei i a raatau ano. Kaore, kaore tenei e whakaaro ki te mate whakamomori kaore nei i whakaarohia. Engari ka mate pea te tangata e whakaaro ana ki te whakamomori. he ara ke. "

Ahakoa he mea nui te whakaaro nui puta noa i enei momo korerorero, he mea nui tonu ka pa ana ki nga kaupapa penei i te whara i a koe ano me te whakamomori. He wa pai tenei ki te whakanui i te nui kei konei koe mo ratou me te hiahia ki te awhina i a raatau kia pai ake. (E pa ana: He aha nga mea e tika ana kia mohiohia e te katoa mo te pikinga o nga reeti whakamomori a te US)

Kia Maumahara: Ko te moemoeke tetahi tohu noa iho o te pouri - ahakoa, ae, he nui ake te taumaha i te kii i te heke iho o te manaakitanga. "Ana ka pa atu ki te nuinga o te iwi he whakaaro rereke, he whakaaro koretake ranei, i etahi wa ka kaha te pouri kaore tatou e kite i te oranga e tika ana kia ora," e kii ana a Gilliland. "Kei te mataku nga taangata kei te [tono] koe ki tetahi whakaaro [whakamomori] ki tetahi atu. Ka oati ahau ki a koe; kaore koe e hoatu whakaaro ki a raatau - ka ora pea koe i to raatau wairua."

He aha te kore e kii atu ki tetahi e pouri ana

Kaua e peke ki te hīraurau hopanga.

"Mena kei te hiahia te tangata pouri ki te korero mo nga mea kei roto i a ia / tena, whakarongo mai," e kii ana a Talley. "Kaua e whakaekea he whakautu mena ka tonoa tenei. Ae ra, he pai ki te kii penei 'Kei te whakaaro koe ki te korero au mo tetahi mea?' engari kaua e waiho hei wananga whakaoti rapanga."

Ka whakaae a Rau. "Kaua e huri ki te korero ki a koe, ki o tohutohu ranei kei a koe.Kia noho, whakarongo ki a raatau korero, kia aro nui ki o raatau wheako mena ka tahuri ke atu ki a koe mo nga tohutohu. "

Ana mena mahi pātai kia whakaarohia e koe, ka taea e koe te korero mo te kimi kaitautoko he mahi nui ki te whakaora (ana ka raru pea i te whakahianga ngawari na te mea ehara koe i te kaitohutohu). Whakamaumahara ki a raatau kei kona ano etahi tohunga he tini o a raatau taputapu hei awhina i a ratau ki te pai. (E Paa ana: Nga Rauemi Hauora Hinengaro E waatea ana me te tautoko mo te Womxn Pango)

Kaua e whakapae.

"Ko te whakapae hekaua rawa koinei te whakautu, "e kii ana a Westbrook." Ngana ki te tango i te take mai i te tangata - korerohia te pouri mo te mea ko ia ake te hinonga i waho atu ko wai tenei tangata, kaua ki te [kii ki te korero ranei] he 'tangata pouri ratou. . '"

E kii ana a Talley mena e whakaaro ana koe he tino take tenei, me maarama koe he maha ake te waa e tupu ake ana i taau e whakaaro ana - ana he pohehe noa te tikanga. "Kaore i te whakaarohia, ka puta mai tenei momo whakapae ka aro te tangata ki te whakatau raru, i te nuinga o te waa ko te whakatika i etahi ngoikoretanga kua kitea i roto i te tangata pouri."

Hei tauira, ko te kii ki tetahi kia "arotahi ki nga mea pai" - he korero whakaoti rapanga - ka kii pea kei te pouri te ngakau no te mea kei te aro te tangata ki nga mea kino. Kaore koe e hiahia ki te kii pohehe na te pouri i pa ai ki a raatau ... ana, ko te tikanga, kaore.

A ape i te pai o te paitini.

"Ki te pouri tetahi e aroha ana koe, karohia nga korero tino pai penei," ka tutuki nga mea katoa i te mutunga "ka" koa mo nga mea kei a koe, "e kii ana a Leaf." Ma enei e aukati nga wheako o tetahi atu ka waiho he whakama, he whakama ranei mo o raatau whakaaro me te kore hoki e pai ki a raatau. "Koinei te ahua o te whakamarama. (Hono: Ko te Whakauru Toxic Ka Taa Te Whakararo I Te Mea — Anei Te Mea Me Pehea Te Whakamutu)

Kaua rawa e Ki "Kare koe e Pai."

Ano hoki, ka kiia tenei he rama kaare noa he awhina. "Kia maumahara, kaore i te orite to ratau pouri ki nga kakahu e kakahuria ana e raua. Ki te hiahia koe ki te tuku tohutohu mo nga mea e whaaia ana e to hoa / e arohaina ana, me tuku atu he tohutohu mo te ahua, he kitenga kai, me to raakau hou / nui rawa atu ranei. Engari kaua e ki atu ki a raatau kaua e pouri, "e kii ana a Talley.

Mena he tino uaua koe ki te ngakau mahaki, me whai waahi ki te rapu rauemi me te panui i te pouri o te ipurangi (whakaarohia: he maha atu nga korero mo te hauora hinengaro mai i nga paetukutuku pono, National Institutes of Health, me nga tuhinga roa na te hunga ngakau pouri. ) me te whakareri i a koe ano i mua i te whai ngakau ki te ngakau me tetahi e mamae ana i te pouri.

I te mutunga, Kia Maumahara ki To Whāinga

Kei te whakamahara atu a Westbrook ki a koe mo tenei panui tino nui: "Ko te whainga kia hoki mai ano raatau ratou, "e kii ana ia." Ka pehia ana ratou, [me te mea] kua mutu ake ko wai ratou; kaore ratou e mahi ana i nga mea e arohaina ana, kaore i te noho taima me o raatau hoa aroha. Ko te hiahia kia [awhina] ki te tango i te pouri kia hoki mai ai ratau ki a ratau ano. "Whakauruhia tenei korerorero mai i te waahi o te tino aroha me te aroha, whakaakona koe i nga wa katoa ka taea, kia rite ki nga haki. Ahakoa koe ' i tutaki ano ki te aukati, me nui atu to raatau hiahia ki a koe i tenei wa.

Arotake mo